Passing It On



, CA
October 30, 2013
We never saw it coming. She ate healthy. She exercised when she could. She worked hard. She played hard. Yet, somehow, she got cheated out of living her life. Almost two months ago, my mom passed away, leaving me, 18, my sister, 14, and my step-dad. She had just turned 47 on August 14, and my step-dad's birthday present to her was a road trip in New York. They were camping and having fun when she started bleeding excessively. They thought it was menstrual blood, but after checking into emergency care, they found out it was not. She was diagnosed with acute leukemia. She was put into the ICU immediately was given bags of platelets. Her second day in the hospital, she called me and said she was feeling a lot better and a lot stronger. Things were looking up. The next day, my step-dad called me and said she had a stroke and the blood went to her brain, leaving her brain damaged. I left for New York that night. I didn't get to see her breathing on her own...but I believed she waited for me. Half an hour after I got to her bedside, she took her last breath on the ventilator. It was a sad day when I lost my mom, but my mom did not live a sad life. In fact, she lived a full life, and she did everything she wanted to do. She may have worked hard, but she most certainly played hard, too. She traveled, went out with me, and said everything she wanted to say. She was a businesswoman, a friend, a wife, a mother, MY mother, my momager, but most importantly, she was my best friend. We would have our little mother-daughter days and go see movies, eat, and talk about school and boys, and I told her everything going on in my life. We'd get her Starbucks coffee, which she needed every single day: tall and black with room for cream. She would take pictures and videos of my performances, and then I would get mad because she was so shaky with her videos or she didn't take the picture the right way...and of course it mattered because I always wanted to have a great Instagram photo. We would fight about my outfits because wanted me to look like a little kid and I wanted to look like a grown woman. And I would get so frustrated and mad because she would call me and text me constantly and then get mad when I didn't reply her texts within the half hour or didn't pick up her excessive phone calls. But there isn't a day that goes by now when I wish she texted me and called me constantly - even when she was downstairs and I was upstairs-, when I wish she would tell me what to wear, or when I wish she would take really bad photos of me. I definitely thought I would be planning a wedding with her before I planned a memorial for her. We had always said that when I get married, she would be living right next door. Of course, I would always object and say she had to live a minimum of a block away. And when I had kids, she said she would come babysit, she would be their agent, and she would do my family's taxes. But plans never really work out the way they're supposed to...All I know is that I plan on going through with all the plans we made together in school and in my career...and in my love life. She was an aggressive, ambitious, intelligent, and beautiful woman, and I hope to become at least half the woman she was. I know that she will be with me every step of the way to help me and guide me, and I will do everything in my power to make our dreams come true.